“Rise above, Nicole” my mom always use to say. I feel as if that saying was on repeat in my childhood. I never fully understood it. In church on Sunday we heard “Turn the other cheek”- but…how? And why? It didn’t feel right. In fact, it always felt counterproductive.
They keep warning me it’s coming. They said it will be the hardest thing I’ll face as a parent. I can believe it, because it’s some of the hardest things I’ve faced as an adult.
And I keep thinking…how can I teach them if I haven’t taught myself?
Human condition tells us to react. To fight back. To make the last move. It beckons us to fight the pain we’ve been given with more pain. It whispers lies that tell us if we just create more hurt, it will help heal our own wounds.
In short, human condition is wrong. And not only is it wrong, it is detrimental. Because if we were truly honest with ourselves, healing doesn’t begin while we continue to pursue pain. Wounds don’t close by opening others. Healing begins when we protect those wounds, when we choose to stop the cycle.
It is simple. You have a choice just like most of life comes down to- choices. You can perpetuate a cycle of pain. You can put more hurt out into this world. Or, you can stop it.
This is what I’ll tell them. It won’t make things less painful for them. It won’t make sense in the moment. But it’s my job to help heal their wounds, to hold them through the stinging, to comfort them when their tears fall. And to guide them to be apart of healing a world that is broken.
You were right, mom, and I will tell them too. Rise above, my little ones.